Random Thoughts During a Long Run

Here are just some of the thoughts that passed through my mind during my 20 mile run on Sunday.

Do any of them sound familiar?

20 miles. I haven’t run that far since the York Marathon five months ago. Eek. But it’s meant to be slow today though. Ten minute miles. Three hours and twenty minutes. Eek!

They said it might rain. It doesn’t look like rain. Of course it won’t rain because I’ve brought my hat in case it rains.

Yeah, my legs feel OK today. Well maybe my calves are a bit tight. But that normally goes off after a couple of miles. I should probably have rolled them before I set off.

Right, so I’ll eat a bit of flapjack after about an hour and a half, then every half hour after that. Got to practice eating on the hoof for Race to the Stones. No gel because I’m only running slowly today.

My calves are still tight. There’s a bench over there. I’ll stop there and squeeze them a bit. Yeah, that’s better.

Oh, thanks for coming out when you weren’t supposed to, sun. When I’ve left my sunnies at home. Because it was supposed to be raining. Now I’ll be squinting for the next two and a half hours! I suppose I could put my rain hat on, but then I’d probably sweat to death.

Bloody hell, it’s really warm. I don’t remember the weatherman saying it was going to be this warm. He only mentioned the rain that isn’t actually happening. I’m so overdressed. Why is everyone wearing coats? Are they aliens or something?

Six miles in exactly an hour. That’s good. Only another two hours and twenty minutes to go. That’s hilarious!

Look at all these people walking to the shops. On a sunny day like this. They need to get a life.

Jesus, what makes some dog owners think I’d love it if their mutt jumps up at me. Yank the bloody thing in! It’s always the little yappy ones. Big dogs are so much more chilled.

Five miles, that’s a quarter.

Must slow down a bit. Train body to use fat as fuel. I always speed up in the middle bit, after I’ve warmed up and before I start to get tired.

It’s better now I’m out of town. Nice by the river. Blossom out, that’s pretty. Springtime.

Oh, there’s Neil on his bike. Haven’t seen him for ages. I’ll stop for a quick chat.

I’m boiling now. Sweating like a beast. But at least nothing’s chafing. Nice one, Shock Absorber.

What fraction of this run have I done now? Over half anyway. Soon be two thirds.

Fed up of flapjack. Should have brought something salty. What though? Peanuts? They were giving out peanuts at that race. Yeah, I might bring some peanuts next time.

How much drink have I got left? Hard to tell in the Camelbak. Feels quite light though.

There is virtually no wind today. Typical. I want a breeze!

Should I enter the Boston ballot for next year? I bet it would cost a fortune to go to Boston. Am I that bothered? What if I entered, booked flights and that and then got injured? Remember that time you spent the night before Manchester in the hotel loo and couldn’t run? Hmm.

Why is that woman running in a jacket? Is she training for the Marathon des Sables? Or just insane?!

I want a wee. I’ve clearly drunk too much. There’s some bushes. Just stop the Garmin for a mo…

What shall I have for lunch when I get back? Fish finger sarnie? No, you had that yesterday. What about eggs? Yeah, scrambled eggs. Eggs are good. On toast. Protein and carbs.

Feeling a bit tired now. Oh yeah? Well suck it up, because if this was Race to the Stones you wouldn’t even be a third of the way through it. Jesus! Yeah, but I’d be running slower and with walking breaks. But still. God, how will I ever cover 100K! How? It isn’t remotely possible! WHY THE HELL DID I ENTER THAT?

Why is the Garmin bleeping? Powering down? FFS, I must have forgotten to restart it after I stopped for that wee! How far back was that? Brilliant, that’s totally buggered up my route. Well I’m not stopping til the Garmin says 20. I’ll have to do a bit extra. Bollocks.

I’m knackered now. I wish I’d brought a gel. Why didn’t you bring an emergency gel? Idiot!

Why am I doing this? I’m 53 years old. I should be in a garden centre buying a Cath Kidston trowel or something. Or shopping. Or sitting outside a pub. This is the last time I’m ever training for a marathon. Probably.

How did I ever run 26.2 miles faster than this? Actually I did it twice. Hard to believe now. But it’s on the internet so it must be true. Unless it’s Fake News – haha!

I’d really rather be walking now. Shall I have a little walk? I could walk in an ultra. Yeah, but only up the hills. This isn’t a hill. And anyway, this is London training. For the road. No stopping. Yay, these traffic lights are against me! A few seconds rest. There is a God!

Nearly home. This bit’s downhill. Flying I am. Yeah, right!

Aren’t chairs great? I need milk. Cold chocolate milk… drink of champions.

Just a few of my long run thoughts. I love it really!

What do you think during a long run?